HEY ELI, THAT NAS SONG ISN’T GOING TO EMAIL ITSELF!

Hey Eli, remember when we were chilling at the first Tiki-Disco party at Roberta’s and I asked if you had the Nas “Understanding b/w Life is Like A Dice Game” bootleg 12 Inch from the summer of ’96?

And you said “Not only do I have it – I did a sweet re-edit of it! I’ll send it to you tomorrow”. Remember that?

No? Oh that’s because you were sh*thouse drunk. Well anyway, that was over 3 months ago. And yet, my inbox has yet to be blessed with this glorious (AZ & Biz Markie featuring, Grover Washington Jr. sampling) gem from a long lost era.

Listen up, “ELI ESCOBAR” if that is in fact your real name. If you say that you’re going to do something, YOU SHOULD DO IT. I thought that much like the title of the song, we had an “Understanding”. I realize that you’re a busy, productive, highly revered, jet-setting world class DJ, producer, etc., but a little follow through would be nice. That’s all I’m asking for…

I mean c’mon, how long have we known each other? 15 YEARS? At least. You would think that two ex-backpackers could bond over some unreleased Illmatic reject tracks. You would think! What type of world is this, where sharing some good old fashioned Queensbridge Rap isn’t a top priority? No world that I want to live in, that’s for sure!

I’ve reminded you maybe 4 times since my initial inquiry (twice by email) and you still forgot! It’s not that hard to remember – after all, you and Nas both share the surname “ESCOBAR”. Perhaps you two also share Amnesia? Seriously, I can’t decide which Escobar has disappointed me more over the course of my life. PABLO ESCOBAR was kind of a dick, but at least he was dependable. #justsayin

“Yo Rok, why don’t you try being a real DJ for once, and buy the actual vinyl, you Serato hack?”

Because it’s $152.96 on Ebay you freakin’ wisenheimers!

You think I’m gonna shell out that much coin for a novelty item? Think again! Besides, Eli regularly posts rare music on his blog: http://www.outsidebroadcast.blogspot.com, so I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.

Eli, I know that your time is extremely valuable, and that you have more pressing things to do than upload irrelevant Hip-Hop obscurities for me. This is why I asked a lot of other people before we spoke:

My man SKI-HI the human rap encyclopedia doesn’t have it (Shame on him).

Underground Mixtape legend JAMES “DL” ELLISON has it, but can’t find it, because his collection is simply too vast (Lies!)

The honorable DJ ELEVEN doesn’t have it (but he sent me a link to some low quality cassette transfer).

COSMO BAKER doesn’t have it (That’s gotta be a first).

I even asked the tall lanky guy (someone I don’t resemble at all, who will remain nameless) who illegally released the 12 Inch in question after stealing the DAT from Columbia Records. He has the vinyl in storage but said that he “won’t be able to make a digital rip until mid 2011″. I don’t even know what that means, but thanks for nothing you Jewey looking son of a bitch!

For the moment, it would seem that I’m out of luck.

Maybe I should just try to contact NAS directly? Would that make you happy Elliot? Elijah? Elihu? Eleazar?

The “Street’s Disciple” can’t be doing too much right now. Maybe in between making child support payments and making cringeworthy new albums, he can find the time to dig through his archives, in search of a relic which represents his better years as an artist. What?! I really hope he reads this and gets pissed off. Maybe he’ll flip out and remember what it’s like to “wave automatic guns at nuns”. Maybe he’ll even re-add the “Nasty” onto the front of his name, and rid himself of the “Escobar.”

I can tell you that I for one am about to RID MYSELF OF AN ESCOBAR…

I kid, I kid! Everybody, make sure to cop ELI’s new “LOVE THING” single, now available on Plant Music. http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/love-thing/id377940127

-Rok Dun (QBC TIL INFINITY)

P.S. Anyone who can send me a 320 bitrate, Wav, Aiff, or Flac recording of either of the singles below, will receive a free bottle of the Henny. ONE LOVE…

http://www.discogs.com/Nas-Understanding-Life-Is-Like-A-Dice-Game/release/963977

http://www.labelscans.com/default.php?action=showAL&id=57