Now usually, I try not to get laughs at the expense of another person, but you have to draw the line somewhere, so here we go…

DUDE!!! What the f*ck?!? You can’t be serious right now!

This is a joke right? Or some type of social experiment? Is there a hidden camera, besides my own? Someone please tell me he’s kidding. He’s not?

Did he not get the memo? Or the memo after that? Or the memo after that? Or the thousands of other memos that have been sent out since the turn of the millennium?

Holy crap! I can’t even believe what I’m seeing. Do my eyes deceive me? Is this guy really still repping GOA TRANCE?

Yep.

Your boy is actually rocking TEAL, CANDY APPLE GREEN and YELLOW TIE-DIE UFO PARACHUTE CARGO PANTS (tucked into knee-high white tubesocks!) with a matching bandana, TRIBAL WRIST BRACELETS, and of course overly tech-ed out crosstraining sneakers and a backpack (which don’t match anything).

In physical essence, our friend over here is attending the final Jelly NYC Pool Party in Williamsburg, but in his mind he is at the Burning Man Festival in Black Rock Desert, Nevada. He’s eating the candy jewelry dangling from this neck, and doing some pretty sweet interpretive dance moves – with CONVICTION! The expression on his face suggests that he’s truly relating to Gucci Mane’s live performance.

Nah, don’t give this guy a pound! We can’t encourage this type of behavior. I mean c’mon, he’s gotta be one of the most blatant style offenders I’ve come across in years. He looks like a walking blacklight poster. He should change his name to VICE DON’TS. But wait, it get’s better…

Is that his girlfriend? Oh word?!? The one wearing nothing but American Apparel booty shorts, a skimpy pink tube top, a leather bag and UGGS BOOTS in 90 DEGREE F*CKING WEATHER?

Wow, how adorable! Tell me something, what combination of hallucinogens do you think they’re on right now? I imagine that it would have to be something strong. How else could anyone think that this is acceptable conduct? How out of touch can you get?

On the other hand, the extent to which this couple doesn’t care is strikingly impressive. It’s really quite admirable in a way – their commitment to not giving a f*ck. In the face of all the surrounding indie rock snobbery, BURNOUT BONNIE & CLYDE have taken a firm stance. It’s them against the world, for better or for worse – and for that reason, they are my heroes. To hell with the hipsters! To hell with good taste, standards, self respect or the entire concept of reality for that matter. All that stuff is surface pettiness anyway. Image is Nothing. Thirst is Everything. Obey your thirst… THE THIRST TO RAVE!

Happy Fashion Week…

-Rok